Sometimes, I Have to Keep the Truth
by sheenamarieanne
Summary: In response to a BPotD I found on Tumblr. My first attempt at writing Blangst. My first time to write a story in YEARS. Blaine Anderson has always wanted to keep Kurt safe. So when he learned he had cancer and had other ideas on how to face it, he battled with himself on whether he should let Kurt in and help him despite the fact that it could hurt.
1. Chapter 1

**Blangst Prompt of the day #321 fill**

_Prompt: Burt and Blaine are visiting Kurt for Christmas in NY. When sitting together in the apartment, Burt tells Blaine that "Kurt needs to know. Cancer isn't just something you can hide." Kurt overhears this and asks what they're talking about. Burt, seeing Blaine look uncomfortable, tells Kurt that he has prostate cancer. What Kurt doesn't know is that Burt was lying; Blaine's the one with cancer._

A/N this is the nth time I've edited this chapter! New ideas just keep popping into my head. Like 'Blaine couldn't have just fainted! He must have felt something before that' so, viola, typed this right out of my phone while I'm on duty. Will edit any more typos when I get home with a proper keyboard. Till then, enjoy!

Sometimes, I Have to Keep the Truth

"Oh my God, I feel so guilty having to burden my son with the lie that he's probably going to lose me to a disease I don't even really have."

Burt said as soon as Kurt stepped out of the kitchen to answer a call from Isabelle.

Blaine froze for a couple of seconds, lost in thought, before giving out an exasperated sigh. He then resumed washing the dishes, purposely keeping his head low to avoid Burt's knowing look.

"Thank you, for covering for me."

"As much as I hate lying to my own son, your truth is not mine to give away, Blaine. It's a conversation that the two of you should have at your own decided time. But you do understand that you cannot keep this a secret forever right? That he is going to find out, one way or another?"

"I know. But after all that we've been through, he doesn't deserve this. I can't give him another reason to get hurt. I've already caused him enough trouble and I have not even started working on his forgiveness for the cheating incident yet." He kept his voice low, fully aware that Kurt is just in the other room.

"And you think lying would be the best option?" Burt asked.

"I'm not exactly lying. I'm just protecting him from the truth."

"You make it sound like it's the only option Blaine. Have you forgotten what happened the last time you kept your feelings to yourself? Kurt needs to know. This isn't just about the two of you being in two different cities for a year now. This is a big deal. He deserves to know. Cancer isn't just something you can hide."

"But, we are not even together, sir." Blaine tried to protest.

Burt shook his head, partly because of the "sir" part but decided to leave that conversation for another day.

"And can you honestly tell me now, that you are ready to live through the rest of your life without him?"

"Well.. no." Blaine replied, looking completely defeated.

"Then tell him."

"Anything important I've missed?"

Both men jumped when he spoke but once again, Burt was quick to fill in the silence.

"I was just thanking Blaine here, kid, for talking me into telling you the truth. I understand that between the two us, good news or bad news, no secrets right?" Kurt's eyes immediately turned glassy and Blaine had to look away, knowing that's the exact expression he would hate to see from Kurt once he finds out – hurt, loss, guilt, pity. Kurt took the few steps from the kitchen door to the table where his father was standing then pulled him into a hug.

"I love you dad."

"I love you more, son. But you know what, it's Christmas, and the two of us has spent the last 18 years of our lives celebrating it together. You two haven't seen each other in months. So, I'll step aside, watch some TV and leave you two at it. While you're catching up, stack the leftovers properly in the fridge, alright?" He gave them both a reassuring smile before stepping out into the next room where he purposely turned the volume up a few notches just to show he has no intention of eavesdropping.

Kurt walked towards the sink where he grabbed the drying towel to start wiping the first few dishes Blaine was done with.

"You're looking good." Blaine started, taking a quick glance at the other boy standing next to him.

"You've lost weight and you look paler than usual. Are you okay?" He had to look away, realizing too quickly that Kurt's concerned look will push him right into telling him the truth. He closed his eyes to allow himself to think and to let the mild wave of nausea that has been coming to pass. He pressed a wet, fisted hand against his closed mouth before he cleared his throat while he mentally planned on the best excuse.

"With the student council, the Glee club and being a senior, the work load is just keeping me too busy I guess."

Kurt nodded, knowing just how it was to be in Blaine's shoes, being a senior himself just a few months ago. He was surprised when Kurt took his hand in his and looked at him straight in the eye.

"Just… just take care of yourself okay? I'm not there to remind you to have lunch now. I know that you always forget."

Blaine let out a soft chuckle remembering just how persistent Kurt was last year in making him eat his meals right on time. To be honest, he's missed that and now that Kurt's in New York and he has purposely joined a lot of extra-curriculars, it was easy to skip a meal every now and then. But deep inside, he knew that was not the only reason why he getting thinner, or why he keeps getting a fever, or why he needs to skip school for frequent nosebleeds. But he can't tell Kurt. Not yet.

"Let's take the dishes to the rack and head to bed." Kurt broke into his thoughts.

"Yeah, that'd be good." He grabbed the rest of the clean plates and followed Kurt to the rack where the taller boy took them from him to stack properly. They then walked in silence to Kurt's room passing by Burt who was busy watching a basketball game on TV.

"The bathroom's right over there." Blaine nodded grabbing his supplies from his bag and walking towards the washroom.

He took his time, to catch his breath, surprisingly exhausted from the little work he has done. He had been feeling funny since the plane ride and had been shaking it off since then. At the back of his mind he knew what was coming but wished that it'd happen a little later when he gets home. All the symptoms were there: the light headedness, the palpitations, shortness of breath, even the calf pain. His anemia has to wait. He shook his head trying to get rid of the faint buzzing in his ears but to no avail. Trying his best not to put much attention to his physical state, he began brushing his teeth, paying extra care to not to make his gums bleed but it still did anyway. He was in the middle of spitting out blood tinged water when he heard Kurt speak from behind him.

"You've been absent 3 days the past week. 10 days total this past month alone."

"W-what?"

"Tina told me. And please, don't tell me nothing is wrong because I'm not stupid Blaine. The way you and my father were whispering while I was on the phone practically gave it away." Kurt wasn't looking at him and it took him a couple of seconds to realize Kurt was focused on the bloody toothbrush he was holding.

He opened his mouth to try and explain but nothing came out. He tried a couple more times but his brain couldn't formulate a single coherent thought to get him out of this situation.

"Kurt…"

He swallowed hard, still undecided on whether to tell the truth and hurt the love of his life even more, or to keep on lying which by every second is proving to be ridiculously impossible.

"You're father doesn't have prostate cancer. He had trouble peeing and was seen by a urologist. They said it may be cancer. But he had a biopsy done a couple of weeks ago and it was proven benign."

"I'm not seeing how that could explain the bloody toothbrush, Blaine."

Blaine felt a shiver run through his whole body, surprised by the single tear that rolled from the corner of his right eye. Then another, and before he knew it, he was crying.

He knew it then, there was no escaping the truth now.

Kurt didn't budge from his position by the door, clearly as surprised as he was by his breakdown. He was Blaine Anderson for one. He isn't the type who cries.

"When I was six, my parents started noticing how easily I bruise when playing ball. Like really huge, black bruises. Then I started having nosebleeds, then one day, it just wouldn't stop no matter how much ice packs they applied. They brought me to the ER and I was stuck in the hospital for a week. They diagnosed me as a case of acute lymphoblastic leukemia. I spent the next one year and a half in and out of the hospital for chemo, for blood transfusions, for a bone marrow transplant. And it was horrible. Chemo made me feel like shit, I was bald and I just knew how sad everyone was around me. At one point, when everybody thought I was going to die, we started celebrating my birthday every month. Every fucking month, they had to remind me that I probably won't be around the next time. But in the end, things got better. I went into remission, grew my hair back, I went back to school and here I am."

"You are telling me this because?" Blaine knew Kurt already had the answer basing on the heartbroken expression he had on his face and the way his hand quivered on its way up to wipe the tears that have started falling.

Blaine looked down, being unable to speak further knowing how much he was hurting Kurt. But he knew, now that he has started it, he needed to continue.

"I started having nosebleeds again a couple of months ago."

"Please tell me you've been to a doctor, Blaine."

"Yes, I've had. I was admitted after I collapsed in gym class. They had my blood examined. They've done a bone marrow aspiration too."

"And?" Kurt urged him to continue.

"It's back Kurt. My cancer's back and they said, it would be a lot tougher to beat it the second time around." The bitterness in his voice was difficult to hide, knowing in himself how much he hated being in this kind of situation.

"And I don't think I can go through all that shit again. I can't. I don't want to." Memories of all the painful needle pricks, vomiting by the toilet and hair fall all flooded in and Blaine felt his world start to swirl. His heart started pounding in his chest like it was about to jump right out to the floor. His head like it was full of helium and his vision began to blur. The last he remembered was Kurt's familiar scent wrapping around him before he started falling. He succumbed into the darkness before he even hit the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Chapter 2 already up! *Phew* Tell me what you think? I'm not even sure where this story is heading. To all the very kind people who reviewed, thank you! This is a really rough draft and I've seriously just finished typing it up. I am so sorry for any errors. I am currently searching for a Beta, but till then, my stories would be just as raw as this one.

**Sometimes, I Have to Keep the Truth**

**Chapter 2**

Blaine woke up to the familiar busy noise of the Emergency Clinic. He took his time to allow his vision to focus on what is happening and was surprised to see Kurt's face pop out from his right with an uncertain smile across his face.

"You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Dizzy. You're still here." He couldn't help the warmth that spread through his chest on the realization that Kurt hasn't left. He would have pressed further on why he hasn't gone when he had the chance but a wave of nausea started going over him.

"Of course I'm still here, silly! What would have made you think that we would just abandon you like that? We brought you in right after you passed out." Kurt said rolling his eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. First, I have to be sure that you're okay now and that you'll get better in the long run."

"The doctor said that you're blood pressure dropped dangerously low cutting much of the blood to your brain. That's why you passed out. You are suffering from severe anemia which necessitated the blood transfusion." Kurt explained.

Blaine's nodded in response, all to familiar with the situation. He raised his left arm to eye on the transfusion set already in place, hooked to a blood bag above his head and not too happy to have Kurt see him this vulnerable. But he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips.

"You just went all medical on me. It's kinda hot."

"Shut up. This isn't funny. This is serious Blaine! You just told me you have leukemia, passed out in my apartment and currently receiving a transfusion!"

The panic in his voice knocked the beginning smile right out of Blaine's lips. He took a couple of seconds to gauge what's the next best thing to say so as to not freak Kurt out further.

"I've had one a couple of weeks ago too. And this probably won't be the last either."

He looked Kurt straight in the eye, wanting to know that Kurt would understand, that he wouldn't run away. Relief flooded right through him when Kurt gave him a sly nod.

"It's just that all these are creeping me out and the doctors and nurses just keep sticking needles at you. I wanted to kick their asses everytime they take blood or inject something because they look like they hurt."

"It isn't as bad as it looks. So don't worry ok? It may have taken time, but I'm used to it." Blaine tried to give him the most reassuring smile he could manage despite the still slightly fuzzy view he was having.

Kurt took his right hand in his and Blaine saw the pain replace the worry that's been showing in his blue eyes since their conversation at the apartment.

"You should have told me you idiot. You must have been scared."

"We weren't exactly in good terms then Kurt. I'm not even sure where we are now."

"Don't do that okay? We'll figure out the what to do with the fight some other time. Right now, I'm here as a friend. You need me and more important than that, I need to be with you." Blaine's head shot up to have his vision caught in Kurt's blue orbs that proved how much he meant everything that he said.

"Not when you freak out each time I get a transfusion and a needle up my arm. What would you do then once I'm puking on the toilet and going bald?" Blaine tried to mean it as a joke but it was difficult to hide the bitterness in his tone. But Kurt didn't budge from his position and continued holding Blaine's gaze.

"I'd still be here, I promise. I may be mad at you, but I've loved you. I still love you."

"Would you still be loving me if I chose not to lose my hair and be sick everyday? Going through all that again is scaring me shitless, Kurt. I don't think I can do it."

The taller boy leaned in closer to caress Blaine's arm and in a kind, soothing tone whispered by Blaine's ear - "But you will, Blaine. You will fight, for me. Then we'll figure out how you can make up for cheating." Kurt squeezed on his arm tightly before giving him a small peck on the cheek. He then pulled away to reveal a sad smile already on his lips.

"I could try, Kurt. But I don't need to be cancer free to start working on your forgiveness. I don't want you to just hand it to me at the thought that I might die soon. I want you to mean it. I want to be able to repent for it. I'll try to get treatment. I'll try to live with it for as long as I could. But that's the most I can promise. When everything gets too much or too painful, please don't blame me for giving up." He was still unconvinced on getting treatment and was starting to feel slightly annoyed at seeing the pity Kurt was having trouble hiding. On a good day, he may have enjoyed the fact that he could just get what he wants. But it's the cancer priveledge that's making everybody so kind and he hates it.

"You should slap me, wish I was dead, curse me for what I did, you know. Or at least yell at me for what I did. You should ignore my calls, return my letters, date other people. You shouldn't have to seat with me through a stupid transfusion. You shouldn't be talking me into getting treatment. Kurt, I've already hurt you like hell. I don't deserve to have you around!" Blaine was breathing heavily by the end of his statement. Probably partly because the anemia has always caused him to be short of breath, but mostly because of the frustration that none of the things around him are happening the way he has been expecting.

"You're wrong Blaine. I've hated you. But remember the phone call we had at Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah. Of course I do."

"Way before I even learned you had cancer, yes?"

Blaine just nodded in agreement.

"That was when I've decided I'll work on forgiving you. Fair enough?"

Blaine was just about to argue again when Burt popped out from behind the curtain with a few papers at hand.

"Alright, you'd have to be admitted for at least a whole day to finish the transfusion. I already had a room reserved and I took the liberty to call your parents. They are on their way."

"Thank you Mr. Hummel and I'm really sorry for having to inconvenience you like this."

"Don't mention it, kid. But I'd have to leave the two of you alone now as I have to go catch my plane back to Ohio in a couple of hours. Kurt would stay with you until you parents can come, alright?" Burt walked over to Blaine's bed and pulled him in for a tight hug.

"You will fight this alright? You'll be the man that I know you are and fight through this, you hear me?" It was a whisper, clearly so as to not Kurt hear, but it was an order.

"Yes, sir."

Burt then turned around quickly and hugged Kurt before leaving.

"What was that about?" Kurt asked curiously.

"Well, for the record, he didn't threaten to shoot me with his rifle or anything." Blaine said with a laugh. Kurt just rolled his eyes before slumping on the empty chair at the bedside and moving to lean his head by Blaine's shoulder.

"I love you."

The phrase was unexpected but it warmed Blaine up so much, he couldn't help the tear that escaped his eye.

"With or without cancer, I love you. I don't think I'd ever be able to love anyone as much as I love you." Kurt extended his right arm to wrap over Blaine's tiny body.

"Kurt…"

"Ssssh.. you can save your warnings for when you'd probably die for some other time okay?"

"Okay. I love you too."

PS Now that Kurt will have to stay in NY and Blaine will be in Lima, how will I be able to make this work? Suggestions are welcome!


End file.
